A Love That Never Fails....
“Leave room for Jesus!” Growing up in the Footloose generation, I often heard this phrase. For me, a Jewish kid, it was a churchy saying. It conjured up images of nunnish looking women and men in short sleeve white button downs barking at teenagers who dared to get too physically close on a middle school dance floor.
But from the other side of salvation: LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS has power.
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecc 4:12
I love the imagery, beauty, and power of Ecclesiastes 4:12 (So much so, my friend and artist Carrie Pittman translated it to canvas which hangs in my kitchen). The first half of the verse recalls Proverbs 27:17. It speaks to the significance and necessity of Biblical relationships. From the very beginning, God knew that it was “not good for man” to be alone. Relationships are meant to strengthen and sharpen. Friendships hold us accountable, a place where we are able to encourage one another to keep moving forward or caution that no good might come from a chosen path. Marriage--a God-designed, covenant relationship--is a union where the bond between two grows even more complete:
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:23-24
In marriage two lives, once focused on their own needs, unify and become wholeheartedly devoted to the other’s needs (and their children--if you are new to the parenting game…”stand back-to-back” because those sweet babies grow to be surly teenagers who can and will find your weak spots! Our parenting motto: Divide and Conquer. Just kidding. Kinda. I don’t write much on parenting, but if ever there was a relationship where you need Jesus above, first, and central...it’s parenting. Ok, back to my main thought). Marriage is the gospel on display. Within marriage we experience a glimpse of Christ’s sacrificial love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails….” 1 Cor 13:4-8
Biblical relationships enable the world to witness Christianity in action. So, the natural question is: what differentiates healthy friendships and marriages from Biblical ones?
Healthy friendships and loving marriages can, of course, better equip an individual to withstand the enemy’s attacks. They can enable us to better battle our brokenness. However, worldly relationships—even the healthy ones—are vulnerable. All the enemy needs to do to undermine and destroy worldly relationships: turn us from each other in small ways--a misunderstood comment, a forgotten response, a bad mood, an innocent glance, our natural inclination to measure or judge--and cause us to focus on our own unmet needs. No longer back to back or even if we give the enemy only the smallest of gaps--a bit of emotional daylight between us--he begins his work. He whispers lies in our ears and twists our emotions. Patience and kindness are rubbed thin. He fans the flames of envy, pride, selfishness, and anger. Our emotions take our thoughts captive and lists of wrongs are created. Walls are built. No longer are our relationships proclaiming: two against the world! Rather, each now isolated and enslaved to their own needs, the enemy tightens his grip and accomplishes his true goal: he chokes off the light of trust and love.
But, here is exactly where the power of Ecclesiastes 4:12 lies! Ecclesiastes 4:12 answers the question what differentiates Biblical relationships from healthy?
CHRIST.
Have you ever tried to twist together two strands of hair? Doesn’t hold very well. However, add a third strand and you create a braid: beautiful and strong. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us of the truth:
CHRIST IS THE THIRD STRAND.
JESUS IS THE CENTRAL CORD IN BIBLICAL RELATIONSHIPS.
With Christ as the central thread, relationships are no longer dependent upon our circumstance, bound to our brokenness, or built on our emotions. Biblical relationships are not easily broken because through Christ they are equipped and empowered to bear, believe, hope, and endure ALL THINGS.
LOVING CHRIST EMPOWERS US TO LOVE LIKE CHRIST.
Biblical relationships are rooted in the rich, protective, and life-giving soil of faith.
FAITH REMINDS US TO BE:
Patient and kind (Romans 12:12)
Humble and gentle (Ephesians 4:2)
Loving (1 Peter 4:8, Col 3:14)
FAITH GUIDES OUR ACTIONS AND OUR REACTIONS:
Do not be quickly provoked (Ecc 7:9)
Do no become weary in doing good (Gal 6:9)
Calm quarrels (Prov 15:18)
Encourage and build one another up (1 Thess 5:11)
Be quick to listen (James 1:19-20)
Flee from immorality (1 Cor 6:18)
Love, when bound to Christ as revealed by Ecclesiastes 4:12, never fails because despite circumstance, brokenness, or human emotion, faith transforms love. When Christ is the greatest desire of your heart--the central cord in every relationship--the love in your life is no longer selfish, conditional, or mutable. Bound by faith, we see that the world’s definition of love is just a pale version of all that we have in Christ. Faith reminds us where human love is focused on having our desires and needs met, Christ’s love is sacrificial, unconditional, and steadfast. God wants so much more for us than healthy relationships. He wants us to experience the joy and abundance of Biblical relationships. He wants us to love like Christ.
Whenever the health of my relationships falter, I cling to Ecclesiastes 4:12. It humbles me to the truth that I am choosing my circumstance, my brokenness, and my emotions above Christ. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds me Jesus is the central cord and I haven’t left room for Him.
CHRIST AS THE CENTRAL CORD TRANSFORMS RELATIONSHIPS.
BIBLICAL RELATIONSHIPS SEEK TO GIVE AND FORGIVE.
WITH CHRIST, LOVE IS NOT EASILY BROKEN……