Abled. Given. Led.
Self-control is the last, but not least, of the fruit of the Spirit. I marvel at the wisdom and intentionality of our God. Knowing the human condition, understanding that everything good and holy must first flow from love, self-control is the harvest of a life wholly surrendered and filled to overflowing with the abundance of God.
Control, for me, is such a stumbling block. For the vast majority of my life as a non-believer, I had no understanding that control is completely different from the spiritual maturity of self-control. I valued my ability to be disciplined in my endeavors, focused, and strong. When I became a believer, I questioned how those traits were not celebrated and were viewed unfavorably.
Right?! How can discipline, focus, and strength be bad things? You honor the temple, have a well run family, household and career, and you lead others.
However, as a Holy Spirit “under construction” project (overdue and over budget no doubt), I’m learning the difference between my worldly desire for control and the spiritual discipline of self-control. I’m learning that self-control is the last of the fruit because without the others FIRST, our lives become imprisoned by the strongholds of self-reliance, pride, and personal gain.
As my mind is renewed & my heart transformed, I am constantly convicted to the truth:
I am not able. I AM ABLED.
I do not have. I AM GIVEN.
I am not called to lead, but TO FOLLOW so that through me JESUS LEADS.
When rooted in HIS love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness; when flowing from a surrendered life filled with the abundance of God, SELF-CONTROL is freedom.
SEPARATING CONTROL FROM SELF-CONTROL
Those of us hard-wired to control things (ummm, ME) need to always dig into our heart motivations and the direction of our focus. If my heart is motivated by pride or desire, if my focus is horizontal to the circumstance and inward to me, then I know I’m being led by a need for control. Self-control is always motivated by an unselfish heart; a desire to be His image bearer through obedience. Self-control is always vertically and outwardly focused. Self-control always seeks to glorify God.
Self-control always produces freedom because it flows from faith and is dependent on Jesus. Faith trusts that God is always for our good which creates a desire for obedience. The strength to be obedient—to turn from the world and our flesh—comes from Christ alone. Self-control trusts and acknowledges our desperate need for Jesus; it is Kingdom seeking. As a spirit of self-control is developed, it creates a sense of joy, peace, and leads to constancy. Control not so much.
Control builds strongholds because its soil is self-seeking. The strongholds of control are many, but to name the most common: restriction, willfulness, false guilt, worry, weariness, and pride. Where a spirit of self-control produces constancy, control’s fruit is always inconsistency. You know, the restriction/binge cycle; on track/off track; feast or famine; juggling everything/spinning out of control (I got this/I’m the worst).
Self-control builds you and others up; it fortifies.
Control tears you and others down; it exhausts (physically and emotionally).
Bible verses:
1 Corinthians 10:13
Isaiah 55:10-11
Philippians 4:8-9
Proverbs 21:1
1 Thessalonians 4
1 John 5:19
1 Corinthians 9:24-25
a P.S.
When I touched on this in an Instagram post, so many reached out to me about their struggle with developing a spirit of self-control (which planted a seed to expand on this topic in this blog post). Whether you wrestle with the feeling that you can maintain control or its opposite—you lack any self-control—both feelings are rooted in a belief in our own ableness. No matter which side you battle from—prideful (me) or shame-filled—know that both create strongholds and neither feeling comes from God.
Know that God’s will for your life is good and seek it
Believe that through Christ you can do all things
Trust the Holy Spirit to equip, renew, and transform you
Matthew 6:33,
Carol